No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
