Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
