i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
