his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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