Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ladies don't puke and tell
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize