we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
