I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
