I CAN MOONWALK!
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize