I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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