quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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