dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
