PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
