I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
