Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
