I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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