the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
