Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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