Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
