I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
