You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
