Only a mothe r could love this liver
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This toilet bowl is my home.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
