My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize