Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
