i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
