the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
