it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
