I think scott just propositioned me for sex
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
