Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
