Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
