okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
