i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
