So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
