I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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