I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize