so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
