My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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