Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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