Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
This is my gift to your gina
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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