it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
