She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize