im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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