**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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