I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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