Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
