Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
