I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
