oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
