we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
