ya dads aren't the best wingmen
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
