bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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