GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize