So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
