News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I see more hoeing in ur future
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