We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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