She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
wow bdsm is so cute
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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