so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
