Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
