Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume

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(513): View more from Ohio

i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone

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(330): View more from Ohio

just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.

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(847): View more from Illinois

He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.

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(631): View more from New York

Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.

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(626): View more from California

I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.

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(928): View more from Arizona

HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD

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