weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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