I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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