Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
