Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
