I am puke
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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