is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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