i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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